Some revelations are almost welcoming. They take the stress off. I know who I want to be like more than anything, and it's my Aunt Sandy. And I realized today that it just isn't in my core makeup to be her. We have many similarities, but I'm me and she is her. LOL And it's ok. She will always be my hero. Trying to be her is hard for me. I can't cook like that, clean like that, do all those projects and actually finish them! I'm a scatter brain. I start things and leave them undone. I'm cluttered and messy. I hate housework. I like to bake, but really only like to cook on occasions when I'm in the mood. I much prefer to have Chris do the daily meals. I'm no Suzie homemaker. I love to entertain, but despite countless spiritual gift test that say otherwise I have realized that I DO NOT HAVE THE GIFT OF HOSPITALITY! I just like to have people over to my house... because I NEED people around me to be fulfilled. Yeah. I don't like meeting their needs, they meet mine. I don't think there is a giant switch in my head I can throw that will put me into hospitality mode any time soon. I grumble and groan when I actually get put into a service role. It's just not me. Now, give me a fun project and I'm all over it! Helping in the kitchen at a party here and there... cool. No prob. Setting a table and making it pretty.. I don't mind. Especially if there are people involved. I can do all those things, but.. ummmm... just not to that level. Nope. But honestly, I'd much rather be the one shirking the duties and playing games, talking, dancing, swimming, something.. anything.. but actual housework stuff! There. I feel better. I'm just not made that way. Huge relief. (Of course, I do love my occasional whirlwind clean the whole house days and organize the closet days.. I can't deny my craziness there)
And I soooo wish I could hang out with my Aunt Sandy more often! Oh yes! Some of my bestest fondest memories EVER are with her! :)
elbow room - My focus today is to leave room for God to be who He is. Nothing is as it seems and I trust him.