My S.H.A.P.E. Summary for Heritage Christian Church

I've done spiritual gifts tests before, but thought I'd post my most recent results:



S.H.A.P.E. stands for Spiritual, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences...



Spiritual:

my number one gift is Knowlege (scored 14)

I had a three way tie for my second gift : faith, leadership, and administration (scored 13)

I had a three way tie for my third gift as well: pastor, missionary, hospitality (scored 12)



(The reason I put the ties in instead of choosing three is because of how highly I scored in these areas 15 is the highest possible score)



Heart:

My top three things I love to do from the list I had to choose from are organize, influence and perform.



Abilities:

My top three abilities are musical/compositional skills, people skills, and my memory



Personality:

I am an ENFP which is something that I have blogged about before if you would like more details on that



Experiences:



Family - What did you learn growing up in your family? I learned Bible facts, docrine etc., I learned legalism (which I've been freed from!), I learned music, I learned to love reading and writing



Educational - What were your favorite subjects in school? Everything! Sciences, history, music, literature, creative writing, algebra.... pretty much all of it.


Vocational - What jobs have you been most effective in and enjoyed most? sales, small business


Spiritual - What have been your most meaningful times with God? When I've been searching for freedom and grace and he showed himself to me and taught me the things that I just could not figure out for myself.



Ministry - How have you served God in the past? Childrens ministry, music leader, teen leader/mentor, worship team, worship band, solos, piano, keyboard, hospitality ministry, small group, welcome team, leadership team, drama team, pastor advice board, janitorial, short term missions trip, deputation for full time missions, and pretty much anything you can think of... lol



Painful - What problems, hurts, thorns and trials have you learned from? how hard it is to escape legalism, suicide and depression, being outcast from family and the 'accepted' religious circles



As far as where I think the Lord wants me to serve, I know that I am going to be using my music in someway to help free people from the bondage of religion and show them the wonders of a true grace walk relationship with Christ. I am pursuing psychology as well to help me as I deal with all the intricacies of the mind/spirit connection.

To write or not to write that is the question...

Chris really thinks I'm supposed to be a writer. He is fascinated by my blogs. Of course, he doesn't 'get' my poetry or my music at all, but he loves my blogs. He says I should write a Christian self help book from the view of a 25 year old girl. Could be fun! What's funny about that is that I have always dreamed about having my name on the cover of a book. Wait! Did I just say, "always dreamed??? Yes, that's right, it's something I've really wanted to do. I remember beginning to write my first novel in 7th grade, and bringing in my "manuscript" (oh, yes... I had big dreams of grandeur!) and reading it to the girls. I'd have sleepovers and they'd ask me to read my story. When we would get to the last sentence I had written they would beg me to write more before we went to sleep. Sadly, not only did I never finish that novel, but I no longer even have it. Why? I was afraid. It was not a Christian story, it was a romance novel. It wasn't smutty, but I was ashamed of it because I knew my parents would never approve of me writing anything but Christian fiction. I laid awake at night dreaming of pseudonym's for myself - my very own Mark Twain name - but even in that there was fear as I knew someone (my publisher!) would know who I was and it would eventually get out to my parents and I would be so busted!

I used to write a lot of poetry. This was private. No one ever had to read it unless I chose to let them. I did enter a poem in a contest once and got it published. That was one of the most exciting days in my life! I wanted to buy the book it was in, but my parents didn't share the same excitement I did... perhaps because they really didn't care about my poetry, or perhaps over the price tag of the book. Anyway, they never purchased the book, and I was pretty much crushed. If it wasn't important enough to them to own the tome that my name was printed in, then would it matter to anyone else? From that time one I never shared my poetry with anyone except my husband, who as I said doesn't 'get' it, (*SHRUG* What can I say? He's a guy.) and I rarely write it anymore unless it's a song. Even then I only sing the songs I write to my husband, which is also silly of me because he's not musical. I need to find a musical person to try them on. My fear there is that because my mom writes music everyone will compare me to her. I am so not her. I have a different style altogether. I do not want to be tried and found wanting. (Does anybody like criticism?)

I was also quite a story-teller back in a day. I have always had very long dreams at night that I remember in vast detail in the morning and when I was in school I would regale the other kids with these amazing adventures. They loved it. In fact, I'd have them so hooked on these dreams (that often went on and on for nights and nights. I used to have an ability to focus before sleep and cause myself to continue the same dream that night) that when the dream stopped I would have to make up an ending. They never believed that I was telling actual dreams, but I was. I often thought that I should have written them down (although they would have only been entertaining to a middle school audience!)

Then there was all the role-playing, and character imagining. I spent an entire week at youth conference one time being my imaginary self "Georgia Jakes" a southern belle who was in love with a civil war soldier named Lieutenant Anthony Allen Aimes. I used the accent and everything. I entertained the whole bus the whole way to Indiana and back. I loved to choose a character and become that person entirely - develop and entire life for them, mannerisms, friends, lifestyle, everything. I had so many 'alternate selves' I guess you could call them that I would just get lost in as I dreamed whole worlds around them. It was just like reading a book. I become the character that I most identify with in a story. In real life, I didn't like myself, so I created people that I wished to identify with. Sometimes I thought if I opened my eyes they would be standing right there... (ok, I'm no schizo!) Of course, now I have settled into who I am, but I have never lost the desire to create these amazing people and think about what they would be like if they were to really live.

My husband says this is kind of like my love for the game called the Sims. I was completely addicted to that game! I bought every expansion pack that came out. I literally spent hours upon hours playing it. Why? I loved creating people. I loved building communities. I loved choosing where they would live, what they would wear, where they would go, who they would love, if they would have children, etc. I actually had to take these games to the video game exchange place because I wasn't getting anything else accomplished in my life! I think Chris is right though... it is a clue.

Another clue is my love for so many careers. Perhaps I loved so many things, not because I wanted to be them all, but because I wanted to experience them all so that I could communicate them to others (via writing). I discovered my love for things from reading, so it makes sense that I would give it back through writing.

All that said, I'm not sure if writing is my thing or not, but I do love to write blogs, and it is one of my spiritual gifts according to the test I took on Sunday. Writing is something I can do regardless of what ministry we end up in.... I still have questions. :0) We will see.

Where to serve....

So my husband found this great site on spiritual gifts, and it has a section to help you figure out what ministry you should serve in depending on where your strengths lie.
(http://mintools.com/ministries.htm) The gift categories are a bit different than the test I took, but here are the 8 gifts I scored highest in with ministry options (these links go to the website for more info on those ministry areas)

service (this is where my writing and music fall under)
benevolence/caring
clerical
communications
hospitality
service-oriented
staff-support
worship

hospitality
benevolence/caring
hospitality

discernment
discernment
prayer
staffing
staff-support
visionary

administration
Christian education
staffing
staff-support

leadership
Christian education
visionary

apostle
outreach
visionary

missionary outreach

Well, I don't feel like I'm any closer to what I'm supposed to do, but I know some areas in the church that I can try. I already do worship team and hospitality. I can rule out Christian education because I am NOT a teacher, and I can rule out some parts of benevolence because I do not have mercy or helps, but some of it is my type of hospitality... like sending cards, making meals, etc...

So what does that leave... the things that stand out to me are staff-support, visionary, and communications (here's where I could use my writing skills!).

Just what is my place in the church?

Hmmmm... still as confused as ever. I guess I'll keep doing what I know for now. Music! :0)

Just what are my spiritual gifts?

I am moving on in my search for where I fit in in this vast world that God created. My question of the hour is "Just what are my spiritual gifts?" I have often wondered this. Not only would God not create me with out a purpose (I am convinced of that now, whether I know just what it is or not), but he is unlikely to have left me utterly unequipped to accomplish said purpose. Now, if I could figure out what my spiritual gifts are, I think perhaps I'd be one step closer to finding my vision! Yes, that magical ethereal floating somewhere out there dream that I once had when I was a child....... (Cue the mystical music Mr. sound effect guy) According to PT, I have one. So last night we dragged in super late from our camping weekend, and I went straight to the computer to, that's right, take a spiritual gifts test. I was up awfully late.
Here is my score (25 is the highest score), and I shouldn't be that surprised by some of them...

25 - Writing
25 - Hospitality
25 - Music
25 - Discernment
21 - Leadership
14 - Administration
13 - Apostle
11 - Missionary
10 - Encouragement
10 - Faith
10 - Knowledge
9 - Wisdom
7 - Prophecy
6 - Mercy
6 - Exhortation
6 - Miracles
5 - Poverty (apparently I really like my stuff!)
5 - helps
4 - Pastoring (that works out good for me seeing that I'm a woman)
3 - Giving
2 - Healing
2 - Evangelism
2 - Craftsmanship
2 - Intercession
0 - Teaching, Celibacy (Chris will be glad to hear that), Tongues

So, I think that covers the bases (I know our particular denomination perhaps doesn't believe in all of these gifts, but this was the test I took)

What's funny about this is I have been told that I have all of the top 6 gifts by more than one person (my husband, Pastor, friends, etc) but I never realized that they were spiritual gifts. I guess I just had to see for myself. Missionary is higher up on the list, so I suppose I can't rule it out as an option for my future, seeing that some of the questions I answered negatively too were asking if God had called me to the mission field. I don't really no, so I put no. If he ever does that would change my answer and that score would move up from a 10 to who knows what.

So I'm left with writing and music... Should I write books, or be a singer? And where do hospitality and discernment fit in? I'm in charge of the hospitality at church (due to PT seeing that I had that gift earlier this year), but where does that fit in in my future? And discernment? So I know if someone is teaching false doctrine... what does that say about my ministry in the future? Leadership makes sense in whatever path I choose. I'm just a leader type. I'll be in charge, (NYA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL ) and administrating in some small capacity all at the same time.

Ok... I'm still confused! *SIGH*

Jesus, I'd really like it if you would come down here and comment on my blog with some clear direction. "Rebecca, you will be a Christian artist." "Rebecca, you will be a Christian author." "Rebecca, you will be a missionary." "Rebecca, you will be a Pastor's wife." etc... something! anything! Just tell me!

The waiting is killing me...