Didn't expect that!

So lately I've been getting really discouraged about our current church situation... In fact I was even planning on starting to go church hunting again. We would continue going to the Saturday eve services, and I would go to different churches by myself on Sunday mornings until I found something to try as a family.

There are multiple reasons for this which I will not get into, but the hardest thing for me in this decision was how clearly God led us to attend Heritage. I know that's where he led us! Yet... I'm having such a hard time...

I almost didn't go tonight. I had a headache and sore throat anyway (allergies! HATE 'em!), so figured I'd just go to bed early or something. Chris insisted I go, reminding me that the times that we least desire to go to church God is most likely going to do something amazing.

He was right!

It was a very good service. The worship band did songs that I know and love, the sermon was fantastic, and we did communion! In fact, of all the services we've been there, this was probably the most Spirit-led, in my opinion. However, I was still sulky.

Without going into everything, let's just say I am having a really hard time not being involved in each and every aspect of ministry, especially music... and I miss having friends and fellowship! I feel swallowed up in a big church. It's lonely!

Anyway, long story short, before we left we got to spend some time chatting with a very nice couple from the church. (We sit near them in the services and had already exchanged names. They have been the only people outside of a couple of the elders who recognize us and say hi on a weekly basis.) I left tonight feeling much better about going there. I really didn't expect to find a reason to stay tonight, but I did! lol

Friends will come! It takes time! :)

God knew what he was doing in leading us there, so I need to just get over all my issues and see what he wants to do.

Plan #1: start going to adult volleyball night on Friday's (just me... Chris isn't into sports, and I need peeps more than he does!)
Plan #2: find a kid friendly small group

We'll see where it leads...

(This wasn't up to my usual blogging standards, but I'm exhausted, Meagan is screeching for attention and I feel rushed! That's life! lol)

Blessed Beyond Measure!

As I said before, I've been focusing on the waves for way too long. Fear, anger, frustration, anxiety, depression: it's kinda where I've lived. Boy, have I been foolish to doubt God. God is so good to me. So good to my family. I mentioned some things that he has done for us in an earlier blog, but somehow even with my thankful attitude, it just wasn't enough. I still felt like I was drowning. Enter Jesus! (not that he had really left, of course!) He moved upon our church family to shower us in blessings. I think that I was touched more than I ever have been before. I felt surrounded in love, in hope, in peace, in comfort. I am not alone. Not only is Jesus still watching out for me, his church, his body, is also caring for me. I am blessed. I am blessed!!!

Ezekiel 34:26 And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing.

Yep, that's pretty much it.

So thank you Jesus, and thank you FBC!

Oh, and the little picture frame says,

A Blessing
May the windows of heaven open and pour out a blessing upon you. Malachi 3:10

Better Is One Day

Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house. Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere.

That song hit me hard on Sunday. Here I am stressing about all of this stuff on purpose, and I was singing about the one thing that truly makes me happy. If church was everyday, I'd be there everyday. I know the song is specifically singing specifically about spending time in Jesus' presence, but all I could think about was how much joy is found at church. How strong his presence is there. How free I am to worship there. How many friends I have there. How many lives are changing for the better there. The growth. The fellowship. The love. Jesus. The Spirit of God. The unity. The family. The teaching. I could go on and on. Best of all, I love how I've grown personally, how people care about me, and how I have ministries that I am involved in that touch other people. I help people to worship every week! I have watched a church grow in worship over the last few years, and although it should in no way be credited to me (Glory to Jesus and His Holy Spirit, and what an amazing worship team and band we have!!), I have had a part in it! It is an awesome feeling. And I get to make the missionaries feel super special when they come in. That is a real treat! I love it. Really, everything else could just go away, and I'd stay there in those moments forever.

Chris says this is another sign that I'm called to ministry. *SHRUG*

I'm going to start working at ElderBeerman. I got the job! I know I'll like it... I've been looking forward to it so much. I'm just not certain that it will give me the same joy and fulfillment... Will I be satisfied there? Do I want to be satisfied there? Don't get me wrong, I will give them my all, 100%! It's what I do! I love clothes, I love retail, and I love ElderBeerman! But if I'm truly made for something else, I'm just afraid that I'll still feel like something is missing...